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Over 1,000 jokes that are so bad they're great! Get ready to watch for the eye roll! There's nothing dads and corny joke-tellers love more than a good, clean, marginally funny joke. Add in some classic bathroom humor, and you have a winner! This collection of groan-worthy jokes gives cringe-loving comedians enough material to embarrass—well, everyone—for years to come (while maybe getting a chuckle or two). Whether you're stockpiling side-splitters for your next family road trip or you're doing a little light reading on the john, #1 Dad Jokes has all the clumsy, hilarious gags you need to lighten the load (if you know what we mean)! - 1,000+ hysterically facepalm-inducing riddles, puns, knock-knocks, and more - Hours of family-friendly fun with jokes that are just the right kind of off-putting - Hundreds of silly illustrations to drive the punny punch lines home.
The first audio original from Jeneva Rose, the author of blockbuster bestseller The Perfect Marriage , #CrimeTime is a full-cast mystery written with her husband, Drew Pyne, perfect for fans of Only Murders in the Building and Finley Donovan Is Killing It . Going viral has never been so dangerous. Nadiya loves her privacy: living alone and writing a popular series of crime novels under a pen name, she's worked hard to build the quiet life she cherishes. But all that changes when her long-lost half-brother Chase comes to town, needing a place to stay until he can get back on his feet. Chase's dream job is Nadiya's worst nightmare: he's an aspiring TikTok star, oversharing on the internet at every opportunity. When a burglary occurs in the apartment upstairs, Chase decides to film and post all the action. Unbeknownst to him, this was not a random break-in, but a targeted operation run by dangerous criminals. Overnight, Chase's videos go viral, garnering millions of views and amassing a huge following of loyal #Chasers. It's everything he's ever dreamt of, expect the attention has brought the wrong kind of heat. Chase and Nadiya are plunged into a world of organized crime, and together, they must uncover the truth and clear their names before they become the next victims. Performed by a full cast and filled with both laugh-out-loud banter and shocking twists, #CrimeTime is a delightful romp through the murky, unpredictable realms of crime, family, and the TikTok algorithm.
A hilarious comedy about vlogging gone wrong from the author of TV's My Mad Fat Diary , perfect for fans of Holly Smale and Cathy Cassidy. A hilarious story about a vlog, a cat and two best friends from the author of TV's My Mad Fat Diary , perfect for fans of Holly Smale and Cathy Cassidy. Everyone relies on Millie Porter for good advice – her friends, family even her cat. So she decides to start a vlog with her best friend Lauren, where they will give funny advice about the things that really matter: cats, parents, make-up and boys. Not even Erin Breeler, Queen of Instagram, is going to stop them. But is a cat who likes standing on Millie's head enough to make them an online sensation?.
In their highly-anticipated first book, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you're expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish, and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley, the creators of #IMomSoHard, are just like you and your best mom friend, only funnier and with more wine. Perhaps you've seen one of their insanely popular videos musing on everything from impractical swimsuit fashions to "Things I Found in My Bra." Or maybe you've gone to one of the shows on their sold-out tour, hailed as "monster truck rallies for moms." Or you might have just taken a break from mom-ing so hard yourself and decided to read some adult words for a few minutes. Did you pour yourself some wine? This is not a self-help book. Kristin and Jen know that you probably didn't get to shower today and that the last thing you need is advice on all the stuff you're doing wrong. Instead, Kristin and Jen talk nipple hair, sex after marriage, Mom-bods, and their unhealthy obsession with Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones. #IMomSoHard is packed with the back-and-forth laugh-out-loud best-friend banter that Kristin and Jen are known for, with plenty of real talk about post-partum depression, bullying, and the dark thoughts that plague every mom. Throughout it all, they know the ups and downs of motherhood often have nothing to do with your kids—it's the female friendships and solidarity you have with other moms that makes it all worthwhile.#IMomSoHard is like a long, funny, gab session with your best mom friends. Kristin and Jen know 6:00–8:00 pm is the worst time to call you. They know not to harass you when you show up to a playdate in a free t-shirt you got from the dentist. They won't give pep talks, but they will talk you down from the motherhood ledge, because, congrats: you're passing with a "C"—and that's all any of us can hope for.
Has it been months since you've read a book with actual adult words that had nothing to do with farm animals or superheroes or going potty? Well then, it's time to take a break. Pour yourself some wine. Put on your comfy pants. All good? Ok, welcome to the party.Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley, the creators of #IMOMSOHARD, know that you probably didn't get to shower today and that the last thing you need is more advice on how to be a better parent. Instead, they invite you to join their laugh-out-loud, best friend banter on the eighty bajillion ways moms give their all every day—including:I KEEP IT TOGETHER SO HARDI BODY AFTER BABY SO HARDI HIT THE TOWN (AND AM IN BED BY 9:30 P.M.) SO HARDI BUST MY ASS SO HARDI KEEP FOOLS ALIVE SO HARDCome for the laughs, stay for the kinship with two friends who are just getting it right, getting it wrong, and leaning on each other for a laugh at the end of the day. They don't care if your house is a mess and they won't judge you if you pee a little when you sneeze. So kick back, relax, and enjoy. You deserve it.
@doctorfusionbebop: Some 17 y. o. chick named Dee Guerrera was just sent to Alcatraz 2.0 for killing her stepsister. So, how long do you think she'll last? @morrisdavis72195: I hope she meets justice! She'll get what's coming to her! BWAHAHA! @EltonJohnForevzz: Me? I think Dee's innocent. And I hope she can survive. WELCOME TO THE NEAR FUTURE, where good and honest citizens can enjoy watching the executions of society's most infamous convicted felons, streaming live on The Postman app from the suburbanized prison island Alcatraz 2.0. When seventeen-year-old Dee Guerrera wakes up in a haze, lying on the ground of a dimly lit warehouse, she realizes she's about to be the next victim of the app. Knowing hardened criminals are getting a taste of their own medicine in this place is one thing, but Dee refuses to roll over and die for a heinous crime she didn't commit. Can Dee and her newly formed posse, the Death Row Breakfast Club, prove she's innocent before she ends up wrongfully murdered for the world to see? Or will The Postman's cast of executioners kill them off one by one?.
'I thought I could, with verse iambic, pry Some sense from nonsense, and our modern scene Depict and mock, while using "thee" and "thy" In pages fit to rest by thy latrine.' Shakespeare's sonnets are among the great achievements in world literature. Alas, the immortal Bard never used his command of iambic pentameter to explore such themes as porn, Snapchat and Austin Powers. #Sonnets is a collection of hilarious and inappropriate poems complete with illustrations of Elizabethan RoboCop and Snoop Dogg in tights. Musing on everything from Donald Trump to Tinder, comedy writer Lucien Young offers a Shakespearean take on the absurdity of modern life.
The ultimate book for our obsession with dogs on social media! Based on the Twitter and Instagram sensation, #WeRateDogs features the most heroic, over-the-top adorable, wildly successful, all-around entertaining dogs the world has ever seen! It combines extraordinary photos with ridiculous captions to expand the knowledge and overall lives of its readers. It is not only an exceptionally reliable source for dog greatness, it is also a one stop shop for happiness. This book takes readers on a journey through the strict science of dog rating and the unwavering rules associated with it. Questioning the accuracy of these ratings is ill-advised. They are certainly not arbitrary and this book is absolutely not just about how cute dogs are. It truly is all about precision and ethics in dog rating. The #WeRateDogs book will produce an audible reaction with every flip of the page—whether a groan from a terrible pupper pun or an "aww" of seeing a super floofer. If #WeRateDogs takes you away from reality and pushes you into this conglomerate of absurdity for even a second, then it has fulfilled its purpose. "Over-the-top and hilarious." —Barkpost "Witty, ironic captions that are cute, hilarious, and relatable all at once . . . WeRateDogs is a cultural force in its own right." —Salon "Next-level understanding of internet escapism . . . The real magic is the delightfully surreal captions." —Esquire "Such lighthearted humor . . . As WeRateDogs followers are constantly reminded, all dogs are good dogs." —NPR.
Zero is the latest craze. Young, sexy and brilliant, he is a multi-hyphenated (singer-songwriter-rapper-producer) superstar for the digital generation. According to his publicist at least. He's also a narcissistic, insecure, hyperactive, coke-snorting, pill-popping, loud-mouthed maelstrom of contradictions skating over the thin ice of terminal self-loathing.He has touched down in New York with his sycophantic entourage for the launch of a new single/album/movie/tour. It is countdown to Year Zero. But the boy at the centre of the media feeding frenzy is cracking up. Inside the echo chamber of his own skull, he isn't sure he deserves all the attention, doesn't even know if he wants it anymore and is being driven half-mad by the mysterious absence of the love of his life.As the crucial hour approaches the young star cuts and runs, setting off on a wild trip across America pursued by paparazzi, fans, fortune hunters and his Mephistophelian manager, Beasley. He's about to find out that when you have the most famous face in the world, you can run... but you can't hide.
A tongue-in-cheek collection of the tips, tricks, and recipes that will fix your life without busting your budget. $9 Therapy proves that it's possible to take self-care seriously without taking yourself too seriously. Self-professed lifestyle gurus Nick Greene and Megan Reid know that sometimes it takes as little as spending nine dollars on an act of self-care to turn your day around. While working their first, low-paying jobs out of school, Nick and Meg learned to spend wisely—and fabulously—and firmly came to believe in the radical potential of simple pleasures. In $9 Therapy, they use their hard-won wisdom to show how small, inexpensive treats can elevate your adulting game: whether it's mindfully repotting a plant to finally drinking from a decent wine glass (even if you can afford only one), to recipes you'll actually want to cook, to design tips to make even the tiniest spaces look like Instagram-bait. With enthusiasm and sass, (and featuring 30 colorful illustrations), $9 Therapy brings together the lifehacks and mini-upgrades that encourage you to make your life a little bit easier, a little bit less stressful, a little bit better, a little more loving toward yourself and the humans around you.
Gina Barreca is fed up with women who lean in, but don't open their mouths. In her latest collection of essays, she turns her attention to subjects like bondage which she notes now seems to come in fifty shades of grey and has been renamed Spanx. She muses on those lessons learned in Kindergarten that every woman must unlearn like not having to hold the hand of the person you're waking next to (especially if he's a bad boyfriend) or needing to have milk, cookies and a nap every day at 3:00 PM (which tends to sap one's energy not to mention what it does to one's waistline). She sounds off about all those things a woman hates to hear from a man like "Calm down" or "Next time, try buying shoes that fit". "'If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?'" is about getting loud, getting love, getting ahead and getting the first draw (or the last shot). Here are tips, lessons and bold confessions about bad boyfriends at any age, about friends we love and ones we can't stand anymore, about waist size and wasted time, about panic, placebos, placentas and certain kinds of not-so adorable paternalism attached to certain kinds of politicians. The world is kept lively by loud women talking and "'If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?'" cheers and challenges those voices to come together and speak up. You think she's kidding? Oh, boy, do you have another thing coming.
Kinky Friedman is back, and with 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out he gets it on with all manner of egos. In this collection of twisted takes on life, the Kinkster gives us funny, irreverent, and insightful looks at outsized personalities from people he's known, like Bill Clinton, George W., Willie Nelson, and Bob Dylan -- not to mention Joseph Heller and Don Imus -- to people he's known in spirit, such as Moses, Jesus, Jack Ruby, and Hank Williams. With his meditations on subjects ranging from sleeping at the White House, marriage, his pets, fishing in Borneo, country music, and cigars to the tribulations of possessing talent, Kinky doesn't deny us the "flashes of brilliance and laugh-out-loud observations" (Rocky Mountain News) that are present in all his other work. Hilarious, irreverent, and passionately twisted, 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out reads as if it were written by a slightly ill modern-day Mark Twain.
நாடகங்களை எழுதுவதற்கு கதையும் கதா பாத்திரங்களும் எப்படி உருவாகிறார்கள் என யோசித்துப் பார்த்தால், கதைகள் நம்மை சுற்றியே நிகழ்கின்றன! கதா மாந்தர்களும் நம் அருகிலேயே வளைய வருகிறார்கள்! அப்படி ஒரு Character தான் இந்த சத்யா! இவனை நான் பம்பாயில் சந்தித்தேன். எந்த விதமான இடைஞ்சலும் இல்லாமல் பழக இனியவன், பரோபகாரி. உயிர் காப்பான் தோழன் என்பதற்கு பல சந்தர்ப்பங்களில் உதாரணமாக இருந்துள்ளான். இவனிடம் ஒரு பலவீனம் தன்னால் முடியாது என எதையும் எளிதில் ஒப்புக் கொள்ள மாட்டான்! ஒப்புக் கொண்டதை முடிப்பதற்காக எந்த எல்லைக்கும் போவான்! எதையும் புனைந்து சொல்வான்! அந்த புனைந்துரைதான் உண்மையென சத்யம் செய்வான்! பல நேரங்களில் அவனைத் தூண்டும் நண்பர்களின் சுயநலமும் இதில் ஒரு பங்கு பெறும்!! சங்கிலி தொடர்போல பொய்கள் மாலையாகி நார் முடிச்சாகும் போது சம்மந்த மில்லாதவர்கள் விழி பிதுங்க இவன் வேறு ஒரு கற்பனையில் இருப்பான். ஆனால் நான் சத்தியமாக சொல்வேன் அவனது நோக்கத்தில் எந்த தீய எண்ணமும் இருக்காது இப்படிப்பட்ட சத்யாக்களை I mean அசத்யாக்களை சுற்றி பின்னப்பட்டதுதான் இந்த நாடகம் (அ) சத்யா.
How does Steve Almond get himself into so much trouble? Could it be his incessant moralizing? His generally poor posture? The fact that he was raised by a pack of wolves? Frankly, we haven't got a clue. What we do know is that Almond has a knack for converting his dustups into essays that are both funny and furious. In (Not that You Asked), he squares off against Sean Hannity on national TV, nearly gets arrested for stealing "Sta-Hard" gel from his local pharmacy, and winds up in Boston, where he quickly enrages the entire population of the Red Sox Nation. Almond is, as they say in Yiddish, a tummler. Almond on personal grooming: "Why, exactly, did I feel it would be 'sexy' and 'hot' to have my girlfriend wax my chest? I can offer no good answer to this question today. I could offer no good answer at the time." On sports: "To be a fan is to live in a condition of willed helplessness. We are (for the most part) men who sit around and watch other men run and leap and sweat and grapple each other. It is a deeply homoerotic pattern of conduct, often interracial in nature, and essentially humiliating."On popular culture: "I have never actually owned a TV, a fact I mention whenever possible, in the hopes that it will make me seem noble and possibly lead to oral sex." On his literary hero, Kurt Vonnegut: "His books perform the greatest feat of alchemy known to man: the conversion of grief into laughter by means of courageous imagination."On religion: "Every year, when Chanukah season rolled around, my brothers and I would make the suburban pilgrimage to the home of our grandparents, where we would ring in the holiday with a big, juicy Chanukah ham."The essays in (Not that You Asked) will make you laugh out loud, or, maybe just as likely, hurl the book across the room. Either way, you'll find Steve Almond savagely entertaining. Not that you asked. "A pop-culture-saturated intellectual, a kindly grouch, vitriolic Boston Red Sox hater, neurotic new father and Kurt Vonnegut fanatic... [Almond] scores big in every chapter of this must-have collection. Biting humor, honesty, smarts and heart: Vonnegut himself would have been proud." -- Kirkus Reviews (starred review) From the Hardcover edition.
Have you ever wondered what that 1 outlier would say when you see commercials and products boasting that 9 out of 10 doctors recommend something? Well here's your answer.... Three doctors explore and explain the least recommended techniques and cures lurking in the darkest corners of medicine through the ages. Entertaining and informative, (and sometimes just plain gross), 1 Out of 10 Doctors Recommends examines the strangest and most unusual medical practices, including drinking your own urine to fight infection, using live eels to relieve constipation, and licking a patient's head to diagnose cystic fibrosis. As licensed medical physicians who believe that humor is the best medicine, the authors decode the methods behind the seemingly mad science. Fascinating examples include: * the use of bee venom to treat herpes * infecting yourself with intestinal parasites to relieve allergies * "natural" ways to make your genitalia larger * how the insertion of a potato reportedly stops post-delivery bleeding * the effects of salt pork on a sore throat * the supposed benefits of "vampire facials"
Fact: Chocolate contains the alkaloid theobromine, which in high doses can be toxic to humans, and in even small amounts can kill dogs, parrots, horses, and cats. This means that despite its name, the Kit-Kat candy bar is not a recommended snack for your kitty-cat. I wonder how many cats have died because of this confusion. Fact: The most germ-laden place on your toilet isn't the seat or even the bowl—it's the handle. The solution: Don't flush. Let the next guy worry about it. There are "just the facts"—and then there are just the facts that will frighten the bejeezus out of you. And thanks to this little gem of a bathroom book, you'll never look at the world the same way again, without, er, dry heaving a little bit. From the sneaky fish that can swim up our genitals to the E. coli bacteria lurking in the very water we drink, disturbing phenomena are everywhere we turn. Educational, entertaining, and undeniably horrifying, this book isn't guaranteed to help you, um, go to the bathroom, but it's certain to make your time there more...informed.
With all the impending doomsday predictions everyone is looking for a reason to smile these days. And why not? Smiling has been shown to relieve stress, boost the immune system, release endorphins, and even make us more attractive. It's the natural drug. So put down the Xanax and pick up a copy of 1,033 Reasons to Smile. Whether it's the sight of baby animals wrestling each other or watching pigeons fight over a Cheeto, there are more than enough funny, silly, and downright weird reasons to put a smile on your face inside this little book of joy, including: When the person in the next lane lets you ahead of them in heavy traffic When you finally get back into your own bed after being away from home You check the calendar on a Friday and realize that Monday is a holidayWe're all looking for a reason to smile these days. Here's 1,033 of them.
QI is the smartest comedy show on British television, but few people know that we're also a major legal hit in Australia, New Zealand, Israel and Africa and an illegal one on BitTorrent. We also write books and newspaper columns; run a thriving website, a Facebook page, a Twitter feed; and produce an iPhone App and a sister Radio 4 programme. At the core of what we do is the astonishing fact - painstakingly researched and distilled to a brilliant and shocking clarity. In Einstein's words: 'Everything should be as simple as possible, but not simpler.' Did you know that: cows moo in regional accents; the entire internet weighs less than a grain of sand; the dialling code from Britain to Russia is 007; potatoes have more chromosomes than human beings; the London Underground has made more money from its famous map than it has from running trains; Tintin is called Tantan in Japanese because TinTin is pronounced 'Chin chin' and means penis; the water in the mouth of a blue whale weighs more than its body; Scotland has twice as many pandas as Conservative MPs; Saddam's bunker was designed by the grandson of the woman who built Hitler's bunker; Under the Wildlife and Countryside Act of 1981, it is explicitly illegal in Britain to use a machinegun to kill a hedgehog. 1,227 QI Facts To Blow Your Socks Off will make you look at the universe (and your socks) in an alarming new way.
A New York Times Bestseller From the creators of the hugely popular BBC quiz show QI and the best-selling Book of General Ignorance: 1,227 mind-bending facts. Did you know? • Cows moo in regional accents. • The international dialing code for Russia is 007. • The water in the mouth of a blue whale weighs more than its body. • Pants are responsible for twice as many accidents as chain saws. • Saddam Hussein's bunker was designed by the grandson of the woman who built Hitler's bunker. • Heroin was originally sold as cough medicine. 1,227 Quite Interesting Facts to Blow Your Socks Off is a trove of the strangest, funniest, and most improbable tidbits of knowledge—all painstakingly researched and distilled to a brilliant and shocking clarity.
'I love these books ... the best books ever. Brilliant' Chris Evans The fourth in QI 's bestselling facts series - 1,234 QI Facts to Leave You Speechless is filled to the brim with astonishing facts that will leave you befuddled, bemused and bewildered. The QI team have blown your socks off, made your jaw drop and knocked you sideways. Now they return with 1,234 brand-new mind-blowing facts that will leave you utterly speechless. Did you know: Flowers get suntans. Denmark imports prisoners. Bees can fly higher than Mount Everest. The Republic of Ireland first got postcodes in 2015. Martin Luther King Jr got a C+ in Public Speaking. No one in the UK dies of 'natural causes'. Penguins can't taste fish.